


Human Festivities

by valkyrjorna (Oscorpse)



Series: All Aboard the U.S.S. Ragnarök! [1]
Category: Star Trek, Vikings (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Star Trek Fusion, F/M, M/M, Multi, Polyamory, Science Fiction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-14
Updated: 2019-02-14
Packaged: 2019-10-28 07:54:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17783516
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Oscorpse/pseuds/valkyrjorna
Summary: In which Torstein, the ship’s XO, thinks that everyone’s obsessive behaviour around his human feast called ‘Valentine's Day’ is rather illogical, but it won’t stop him from attempting to show affection to the people he loves most, anyway.





	Human Festivities

**Author's Note:**

  * For [theboatbuilderswife](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=theboatbuilderswife).



The ship was buzzing, which was not something Torstein particularly enjoyed. In fact, it unnerved him, and it had been Arne that had been the first to notice that the ship’s XO was not entirely with his head in the game. He was overseeing the bridge while Captain Floki was doing, well, Starfleet knew what, and apparently their navigator had tried to get his attention in a variety of ways before a small ball of paper was thrown at his head.

     “Torstein, wake up, man.”

     “Huh?” He looked up, trying to keep his face stern, but a giggle from a recruit to his left made him groan and he turned towards Arne.“What is it?”

     “I am the one that should ask that. What’s up with you? You are not with your head in the game and, forgive me, that is very _unlike_ a Vulcan, even a half one.”

     “It's the ship,” Torstein said, when Arne was close enough so he could lower his voice enough to not be overheard by their crew-mates. “They are being ridiculous today, I don’t know what has gotten into them. This morning, I woke to giggling recruits, I found rose petals in my breakfast, everyone is buzzing around like something big is about to happen and it is making me nervous. One almost wonders whether someone spiked the food.”

      His voice was nothing more than a grumble. He didn’t like it when he didn’t understand what was going on. The Ragnarök was a predominantly human ship, he was the only Vulcan aboard, and although he was not the only one of another species, the others seemed to have an easier time understanding why humans sometimes felt the need to act utterly ridiculous. This was possibly Torstein’s biggest problem, since it was not only unfair but also illogical that other species would be better at understanding humans while he was _half_ human himself. He should understand at least half of them.

     “Oh my,” Arne said, and Torstein saw he was grinning, which was a bad sign altogether, in general, in whatever possible scenario. “Giggling recruits? Rose petals in your breakfast? People buzzing about? It must be a Vulcan’s least favourite day on earth again.”

      “A Vulcan’s least favourite day on earth?”

      “Now what I am about to tell might sound like a horror story,” Arne held up his hands, “but alas, it is true. On earth, we have one day, a feast, that is solely about exploring and exploiting feelings of affection.”

      “You can say love,” Torstein deadpanned.

      “Yes, love. We have a day to celebrate love.”

      “That is highly…”

      “Don't say illogical,” Arne warned him. Torstein bit his tongue.

      “But it is! Why on earth would you choose a single day to express such sentiments? My apologies, Arne, but what good is love if you only show it one day a year? That seems not even solely illogical, it seems rude towards your partner.”

      “You shouldn’t take it so literally, Torstein,” Arne groaned, “it is just a day to show some extra love to people you hold dear, or a chance to tell someone you had a crush on how you admire them. Also, there is a lot of chocolate involved. You won’t hear me complain.”

      “I think it’s stupid,” Torstein said, stiffly.

      “But will Helga en Floki think it is?” Arne grinned, before pushing himself back towards his station. Torstein tried to respond with nothing more than a huff, but he had to admit - begrudgingly - that Arne’s words had made him think. Sure, he might not get the point - as happened with my human things - but that didn’t mean Floki and Helga wouldn’t. They were human, to them it would not seem illogical to expect something, and if there was one thing that Torstein hated, it was not living up to expectations.

      “Bollocks,” he muttered to himself. However, he had a keen mind. He was sure he could come up with something to surprise his lovers before tonight.

 

***

 

Two hours later, when Floki returned to the bridge and relieved him from his job as interim-captain, Torstein still hadn’t thought of anything. The fact that Floki grinned at him when he entered, however, told him that he _had_ thought of something, which annoyed him greatly. He couldn’t be beaten by his own lover in this, although he was sure they would both say they understood - he had not learned about this day before today, and as such he wouldn’t have known. However, one thought about Helga’s secretly disappointed pout made him storm into the ship’s corridor. He had to think of something - he _could_ think of something.

       Then he remembered Arne’s words. Chocolate. This holiday was about chocolate. He wasn’t sure if he had gotten it exactly right, but that had at least been a big part of it, he remembered that much. In fact, now he remembered, that this morning, he had seen small - anatomically incorrect - chocolate hearts during breakfast. Now he could procure some of those, but if today was a day to show a little _extra_ love, getting something ready made didn’t really seem to be the right way to go about it. So instead, he made his way down to the lab after a little detour to the cafetaria. He was quite sure that Lagertha wouldn’t mind if he used it for a moment. He opened the door with his override codes and snuck in, placing everything that he had taken from the cafetaria on the table before going on to study the large 3D printer they generally used to replicate smaller parts of the ship that needed replacement.

       While Torstein would never claim to be creative, he knew how to handle tech, and this particular piece of tech was going to help him to create exactly what he had in mind.

 

***

 

“Where is Torstein?” Helga asked, meeting up with Floki in the hallway. “I thought he would have read our invitation for dinner tonight by now, and he is always early. He does have to be there, I even got his favourite Vulcan dish, whatever it might be,” she was fussy, as always when showing affection. Not because it was Valentine’s Day and she wanted something in return, but because she had feared that Torstein might feel bad about not understanding it. That is why she and Floki had agreed to do nothing but romantic dinner with the three of them, so they could explain about gifts and whatnot, and probably hear his declaration on why such a day was not necessary and very illogical. Helga had looked forward to it, but now she couldn’t find Torstein anywhere, she couldn’t help to be worried.

    “I saw him this afternoon on the bridge, when I returned from my meeting with the cook,” Floki hummed. “He seemed distracted, but I hadn’t expected anything different with all the giggling recruits. He must be wondering what in Hel is going on. Maybe someone even explained it to him.

    “That is what I am worried about,” Helga said, while pulling out her keycard to open the door to their sleeping chambers. “What if he feels like he has to give us something and goes on to do something ridiculous.”

    “Come on, Helga, what can he do? Cut himself on a rose? Even if he decides to get us a gift, it won’t be more harmful than mildly embarrassing.”

    “I just don’t want him to feel bad.”

    “He'll survive.”

    “You are dreadful,” she accused her human lover as the door slid open. However, she couldn’t step inside before a ridiculous amount of rose petals bursted out into the hallway, making various officers stop dead in their tracks to study.

    Helga raised her eyebrows, dangerously.

   “Floki, we agreed…” but Floki was already holding up his hands.

   “It wasn’t me, I swear.”

   “Mhh,” Helga just said, taking a big step into the pile of rose petals. If it hadn’t been Floki - and she trusted that, he wouldn’t lie to her, even if this amount would be a joke he could have made up - that left two options: a) that someone had played a trick on them, which didn’t seem likely because Floki was the captain and most people feared him at least slightly, or b) that this was Torstein’s doing, which seemed even less likely, because it was Torstein.

   Nevertheless, when she stepped into the bedroom compartment of the chambers, it turned out that at least one of those unlikely scenarios had become true. It was like someone had googled all terrible human Valentine’s cliche’s and made them reality, from roses to candles, to a giant - anatomically correct - chocolate heart in the center of the room, and on the bed sat Torstein, still in his Starfleet uniform, with a large red bow tied around his waist.

   “…mildly emberassing, you said?” Helga muttered to Floki, trying to take it all in, from those rose petals to… well, that heart. It was really hard not to look at the anatomically perfect shaped human organ.

   “Believe me or not, but even my imagination hadn’t come up with _this_ ,” Floki answered, amused. “It seems like you put quite some work into it, didn’t you, Torstein dear?”

   He stepped over a few candles, which flickered.

   “Holograms?” Floki asked.

   “Well, of course,” Torstein answered, a little annoyed, “I wasn’t about to risk the safety of our quarters for the sake of _aesthetics_.”

   That made Helga laugh. Not giggle, but burst out with laughter. She made a little circle around the gigantic chocolate heart. It was actually pretty accurate craftsmanship, and she admired that he had been able to.

   “How…” she started.

   “Modified the 3D printer,” Torstein explained.

   “And Lagertha…”

   “I modified it back,” he ensured her.

   “I see,” she tried to keep in her laughter, she really did, but when she turned to look at him and saw the bow he had expertly tied around himself a giggle burst over her lips again, and she shook her head.

   “And that?”

   “Saw it on the internet. Usually, the subjects were shirtless or even naked, but that seemed unwise if we still wish to head to the deck for dinner. I would have to dress again, so I decided to save us time, thinking you’d be able to appreciate how the red of the bow compliments the blue of the Starfleet uniform.”

   “Torstein, it isn’t the bow that is the fun,” Floki explained, his voice uncommonly gentle. “It's what’s under it.”

   “My uniform?”

   “In this case, yes.”

   “Oh,” he said, “the naked woman.”

   Floki grinned at him, but shook his head. Helga could see the affection while she ran her fingers over the aorta that protruded from the heart.

   “Can we actually eat this?”

   “Of course, it’s 3D printed chocolate, but don’t eat it before dinner, it’s better fit as a desert.”

   Helga paused for a moment. Fake candles, a bow over a uniform, an anatomical heart… she shook her head, still chuckling softly.

   “Oh Torstein, you don’t have a clue, do you?” Floki asked. Helga looked at everything. He had managed to take all of the romantic aspects of Valentine’s Day gifts and thrown them out of the window. No real fire, no naked skin, not even the cuddly shape of the incorrect heart had survived. She had meant it with affection, but too late she saw how his face fell.

   “Not really, but…”

   “Nonono,” Helga said quickly, kneeling next to him on the bed, she couldn’t stand the downward pull of his mouth corners. “You did perfect.”

   “I didn’t,” he said, “I can see it. I did something wrong, but I don’t understand. I have everything…”

   “…except for a giant fluffy teddy bear,” Floki noted.

   “Should I get you one?” Torstein asked, politely.

   “No,” Helga said, throwing Floki a warning glare. “No, you did perfect. It’s a bit different than… usual Valentine’s day gifts, but that only makes them better.”

    She plucked at the bow around his chest. “And you know what’s the best part of all this?”

   He gave her an insecure smile.

   “The chocolate?”

   “No,” she chuckled, tugging harder at the bow to unwrap it. The fabric fell down on the bed. “You wrapped the very best gift.”

   “I only wrapped myself,” he said, and Floki chuckled.

   “ ** _Exactly_**.”

**Author's Note:**

> This is a little Valentine's Day Drabble for my favourite BFF and writing partner, theboatbuilderswife


End file.
